Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Baby Shower
On Saturday I hosted a baby shower at my house for this beautiful Mommy-to-be. It was certainly a blast.
I have always wanted to try to make a fondant cake, and I thought this was a perfect opportunity and I did it! And it didn't taste too bad either. Quincey really enjoyed helping me as well, he cut the circles and helped put them on the cake. We had fun!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Finally!
So, Geren and I made our first real furniture purchase of our entire marriage! We are so happy with it. Now we can have food in the middle of our table! So nice. I expect to have some good times around this new table.
As we had many great memories with the old table!
As we had many great memories with the old table!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Some thoughts
I have noticed that my hormones have been making me more easily offended lately... so I studied a little in my scriptures about Charity and was really struck by something in this verse
Moroni 7:45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
If I focus on the truth in every situation then I am closer to feeling charitable in that moment. For example: The truth is, I don't feel well, and that is why I am reacting this way... the truth is they are just trying to help.... the truth is they are completely ignorant..... etc. It is amazing how the spirit will help me notice the truth of all things when I am looking for it and how that will comfort me and give me peace.
My friend, Stefanie, sent me this quote and I loved it.
Neal A. Maxwell
"Enduring Well" Liahona, April 1999:
Certain forms of suffering, endured well, can actually be ennobling. Annie Swetchine said, “Those who have suffered much are like those who know many languages; they have learned to understand and be understood by all” (quoted in Neal A. Maxwell, We Will Prove Them Herewith [1982], 123).This experience hasn't been easy, but I am focused on making it work for my good. And so far, it has. It is amazing how much more grateful I am for my healthy children and their healthy births. It truly is a miracle. And I am so grateful to be in a place that makes me more understanding towards others. I now can feel more compassion towards those who go through mis-carriages, and molar pregnancies, and chemotherapy (well, this kind at least), and to those who want to have kids but can't.
Well, I am super tired, I just wanted to record a lot of the things that I've been thinking lately.
Moroni 7:45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
If I focus on the truth in every situation then I am closer to feeling charitable in that moment. For example: The truth is, I don't feel well, and that is why I am reacting this way... the truth is they are just trying to help.... the truth is they are completely ignorant..... etc. It is amazing how the spirit will help me notice the truth of all things when I am looking for it and how that will comfort me and give me peace.
My friend, Stefanie, sent me this quote and I loved it.
Neal A. Maxwell
"Enduring Well" Liahona, April 1999:
Certain forms of suffering, endured well, can actually be ennobling. Annie Swetchine said, “Those who have suffered much are like those who know many languages; they have learned to understand and be understood by all” (quoted in Neal A. Maxwell, We Will Prove Them Herewith [1982], 123).This experience hasn't been easy, but I am focused on making it work for my good. And so far, it has. It is amazing how much more grateful I am for my healthy children and their healthy births. It truly is a miracle. And I am so grateful to be in a place that makes me more understanding towards others. I now can feel more compassion towards those who go through mis-carriages, and molar pregnancies, and chemotherapy (well, this kind at least), and to those who want to have kids but can't.
Well, I am super tired, I just wanted to record a lot of the things that I've been thinking lately.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Note to self......
Chemo of any kind is not really that much fun.
Had my first Methotrexate shot yesterday. I had to get two shots and they gave it to me one in each 'hip'... (which is more like the upper buttock). Apparently they base how much they give you off of height and weight which is why I have to get two shots each time. The nurses tag-teamed it which was nice so I only had to feel the poke one time. Ooooo, I hate shots.... but they really weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be. The nurses kept saying stuff like, 'Oh, I'm sorry hon, these will probably really hurt.' So, I was prepared for the worst.
I felt tired almost instantly afterward. Felt pretty weak too, I stopped at a restaurant before I went home to treat myself to my favorite salad and I couldn't grip my glass as well as normal and spilled my drink all over the place. The waitress asked if I needed a sippy cup. I actually thought that was pretty funny.
I was so tired last night but had a hard time getting to sleep because my muscles were so achy and had a bad headache. I was able to get to sleep at 8:00pm and slept until 8:00am. I feel better today, not so weak, and not quite as tired. Still pretty tired, though, and still pretty achy. I also just kind of feel kinda out of it. I kept giving my kids drinks last night, apparently... both of them wet their beds, I don't really remember a lot of that. So, one shot down... and hopefully not too many more!
But all in all, not too bad. I realize it could be much worse! I kept thinking about how great technology is that we have cures for things like this. Even one of the nurses that gave me the shot was telling me how she had had an ectopic pregnancy (which, by the way, is cured by this same kind of chemo shot these days) and they had to cut her open and remove it. I wonder how they dealt with this! Probably a hysterectomy or something. So, I'm glad this is all that I have to deal with.
p.s. I just have to mention how great my kids have been through all of this. Quincey just asked me, "Mommy, can we go get your blood tested so I can get some more stickers, please?" What an adorable boy.
Had my first Methotrexate shot yesterday. I had to get two shots and they gave it to me one in each 'hip'... (which is more like the upper buttock). Apparently they base how much they give you off of height and weight which is why I have to get two shots each time. The nurses tag-teamed it which was nice so I only had to feel the poke one time. Ooooo, I hate shots.... but they really weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be. The nurses kept saying stuff like, 'Oh, I'm sorry hon, these will probably really hurt.' So, I was prepared for the worst.
I felt tired almost instantly afterward. Felt pretty weak too, I stopped at a restaurant before I went home to treat myself to my favorite salad and I couldn't grip my glass as well as normal and spilled my drink all over the place. The waitress asked if I needed a sippy cup. I actually thought that was pretty funny.
I was so tired last night but had a hard time getting to sleep because my muscles were so achy and had a bad headache. I was able to get to sleep at 8:00pm and slept until 8:00am. I feel better today, not so weak, and not quite as tired. Still pretty tired, though, and still pretty achy. I also just kind of feel kinda out of it. I kept giving my kids drinks last night, apparently... both of them wet their beds, I don't really remember a lot of that. So, one shot down... and hopefully not too many more!
But all in all, not too bad. I realize it could be much worse! I kept thinking about how great technology is that we have cures for things like this. Even one of the nurses that gave me the shot was telling me how she had had an ectopic pregnancy (which, by the way, is cured by this same kind of chemo shot these days) and they had to cut her open and remove it. I wonder how they dealt with this! Probably a hysterectomy or something. So, I'm glad this is all that I have to deal with.
p.s. I just have to mention how great my kids have been through all of this. Quincey just asked me, "Mommy, can we go get your blood tested so I can get some more stickers, please?" What an adorable boy.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
As I suspected....
Monday was 4 weeks after my surgery. I got my blood tested on Monday, and got the results yesterday and my numbers have gone up from 1,904 to 2,600... which means I go in to get my first shot of Chemo today at 2:00pm. I don't know a lot about how it's all going to go down. But the plan is I will get a shot of Chemo every Wednesday until my numbers are down to zero and then for 2 weeks after that. I am most happy to say that I don't have to travel 3 hours away each time to get it, I am able to do it all here. At first they were telling me I would have to, but we got it worked out so I could do it here. I still have to get my blood tested every week before my Chemo... so on Tuesdays I will be at the lab and on Wednesdays I will be at the hospital.
The kind of Chemotherapy I will be receiving is called Methotrexate. To my understanding it is fairly easy on the system compared to other types of Chemotherapy. This does not mean that I won't have any side effects from it, in fact I'm pretty sure that I will. Time will only tell how this will effect me. The doctor's keep assuring me that I should not lose my hair due to the lower dosage. I would be a lot more nervous if I knew this was going to happen. But if I do, that just means that all of my sisters are going to have to shave their heads with me!
Why are the levels going up? How can it come back?
I read this on this site:
When the HCG levels drop then increase again it means that the molar pregnancy has grown from microscopic placental cells in the wall of the uterus to larger cells. These cells can act like a cancer, and metastasize (spread) to other organs, like the lungs, brain, bones, and vagina. Treatment for recurrent molar pregnancy, called gestational trophoblastic neoplasia, or GTN, in medical terms, usually consists of a chemotherapy medication calledmethotrexate
. Fortunately, methotrexate is a pretty “easy” chemotherapy on the system, and can be given as an intramuscular shot.
Patients can expect an almost 100% cure rate using chemotherapy.
The placental cells are hanging around and that is why my numbers are increasing. Aren't I lucky? Only about 20-30 percent of Molar Pregnancies turn into GTN and have to get chemo, and I get to be one of them! Craziness.
I do wish that I did not have to have Chemo, but am glad that we are catching it now so it doesn't spread all over the place. I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed me with understanding and compassionate people in my life. I have felt so much support from my friends and family during all of this. (I feel like a broken record... the end of my posts always end in a Thank-imony... but, deal with it!) I will let you know how I feel and how it goes.
The kind of Chemotherapy I will be receiving is called Methotrexate. To my understanding it is fairly easy on the system compared to other types of Chemotherapy. This does not mean that I won't have any side effects from it, in fact I'm pretty sure that I will. Time will only tell how this will effect me. The doctor's keep assuring me that I should not lose my hair due to the lower dosage. I would be a lot more nervous if I knew this was going to happen. But if I do, that just means that all of my sisters are going to have to shave their heads with me!
Why are the levels going up? How can it come back?
I read this on this site:
When the HCG levels drop then increase again it means that the molar pregnancy has grown from microscopic placental cells in the wall of the uterus to larger cells. These cells can act like a cancer, and metastasize (spread) to other organs, like the lungs, brain, bones, and vagina. Treatment for recurrent molar pregnancy, called gestational trophoblastic neoplasia, or GTN, in medical terms, usually consists of a chemotherapy medication called
Patients can expect an almost 100% cure rate using chemotherapy.
The placental cells are hanging around and that is why my numbers are increasing. Aren't I lucky? Only about 20-30 percent of Molar Pregnancies turn into GTN and have to get chemo, and I get to be one of them! Craziness.
I do wish that I did not have to have Chemo, but am glad that we are catching it now so it doesn't spread all over the place. I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed me with understanding and compassionate people in my life. I have felt so much support from my friends and family during all of this. (I feel like a broken record... the end of my posts always end in a Thank-imony... but, deal with it!) I will let you know how I feel and how it goes.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Pagosa Springs
We took a little trip to Pagosa Springs, CO over the weekend. We all had a blast. It was a gorgeous day in a beautiful place! It was nice to get away a little bit.
We also got to go to the Wildlife Park there and it was so neat to see the animals so close!
That poor Elk got in a fight with his water dish, and he was really mad that he couldn't get it off!
That poor Elk got in a fight with his water dish, and he was really mad that he couldn't get it off!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Just a quick update....
My blood test results came back and my hcg was measuring at 1,904. My doctor is a little concerned at the fluctuation and that the numbers aren't decreasing faster. If the numbers are still in the thousands for next Mondays blood test, than she will refer me to my Oncologist that is 3 hours away. (which by the way I just looked up the definition and here it is...)
Oncology: the branch of medical science dealing with tumors, including the origin, development, diagnosis, and treatment of malignant neoplasms.
So that makes sense. But, I am hoping that the extreme amount of blood flow I had was a boost to get out the rest of the tumor. I am tired of having pregnant hormones without being pregnant! Thanks again for all the concern and prayers that have been sent this way, I have felt strength from that source.
Oncology: the branch of medical science dealing with tumors, including the origin, development, diagnosis, and treatment of malignant neoplasms.
So that makes sense. But, I am hoping that the extreme amount of blood flow I had was a boost to get out the rest of the tumor. I am tired of having pregnant hormones without being pregnant! Thanks again for all the concern and prayers that have been sent this way, I have felt strength from that source.
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