Note to self......

Chemo of any kind is not really that much fun.  

Had my first Methotrexate shot yesterday.  I had to get two shots and they gave it to me one in each 'hip'... (which is more like the upper buttock).  Apparently they base how much they give you off of height and weight which is why I have to get two shots each time.  The nurses tag-teamed it which was nice so I only had to feel the poke one time.  Ooooo, I hate shots.... but they really weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be.  The nurses kept saying stuff like, 'Oh, I'm sorry hon, these will probably really hurt.'  So, I was prepared for the worst. 

I felt tired almost instantly afterward. Felt pretty weak too, I stopped at a restaurant before I went home to treat myself to my favorite salad and I couldn't grip my glass as well as normal and spilled my drink all over the place.  The waitress asked if I needed a sippy cup.  I actually thought that was pretty funny.

I was so tired last night but had a hard time getting to sleep because my muscles were so achy and had a bad headache.  I was able to get to sleep at 8:00pm and slept until 8:00am. I feel better today, not so weak, and not quite as tired.  Still pretty tired, though, and still pretty achy.    I also just kind of feel kinda out of it.  I kept giving my kids drinks last night, apparently... both of them wet their beds, I don't really remember a lot of that.  So, one shot down... and hopefully not too many more!

But all in all, not too bad.  I realize it could be much worse! I kept thinking about how great technology is that we have cures for things like this.  Even one of the nurses that gave me the shot was telling me how she had had an ectopic pregnancy (which, by the way, is cured by this same kind of chemo shot these days) and they had to cut her open and remove it.  I wonder how they dealt with this!  Probably a hysterectomy or something. So, I'm glad this is all that I have to deal with.

p.s. I just have to mention how great my kids have been through all of this.  Quincey just asked me, "Mommy, can we go get your blood tested so I can get some more stickers, please?"  What an adorable boy.

As I suspected....

Monday was 4 weeks after my surgery. I got my blood tested on Monday, and got the results yesterday and my numbers have gone up from 1,904 to 2,600... which means I go in to get my first shot of Chemo today at 2:00pm.  I don't know a lot about how it's all going to go down.  But the plan is I will get a shot of Chemo every Wednesday until my numbers are down to zero and then for 2 weeks after that.  I am most happy to say that I don't have to travel 3 hours away each time to get it, I am able to do it all here.  At first they were telling me I would have to, but we got it worked out so I could do it here.  I still have to get my blood tested every week before my Chemo... so on Tuesdays I will be at the lab and on Wednesdays I will be at the hospital. 

The kind of Chemotherapy I will be receiving is called Methotrexate.  To my understanding it is fairly easy on the system compared to other types of Chemotherapy. This does not mean that I won't have any side effects from it, in fact I'm pretty sure that I will. Time will only tell how this will effect me. The doctor's keep assuring me that I should not lose my hair due to the lower dosage.  I would be a lot more nervous if I knew this was going to happen. But if I do, that just means that all of my sisters are going to have to shave their heads with me! 

Why are the levels going up?  How can it come back?
I read this on this site:
When the HCG levels drop then increase again it means that the molar pregnancy has grown from microscopic placental cells in the wall of the uterus to larger cells. These cells can act like a cancer, and metastasize (spread) to other organs, like the lungs, brain, bones, and vagina. Treatment for recurrent molar pregnancy, called gestational trophoblastic neoplasia, or GTN, in medical terms, usually consists of a chemotherapy medication called methotrexate. Fortunately, methotrexate is a pretty “easy” chemotherapy on the system, and can be given as an intramuscular shot.  
Patients can expect an almost 100% cure rate using chemotherapy.

The placental cells are hanging around and that is why my numbers are increasing.  Aren't I lucky?  Only about 20-30 percent of Molar Pregnancies turn into GTN and have to get chemo, and I get to be one of them! Craziness. 


I do wish that I did not have to have Chemo, but am glad that we are catching it now so it doesn't spread all over the place. I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed me with understanding and compassionate people in my life.  I have felt so much support from my friends and family during all of this.  (I feel like a broken record... the end of my posts always end in a Thank-imony... but, deal with it!)  I will let you know how I feel and how it goes. 

Pagosa Springs

We took a little trip to Pagosa Springs, CO over the weekend.  We all had a blast. It was a gorgeous day in a beautiful place! It was nice to get away a little bit.

We also got to go to the Wildlife Park there and it was so neat to see the animals so close!
That poor Elk got in a fight with his water dish, and he was really mad that he couldn't get it off!

Just a quick update....

My blood test results came back and my hcg was measuring at 1,904.  My doctor is a little concerned at the fluctuation and that the numbers aren't decreasing faster.  If the numbers are still in the thousands for next Mondays blood test, than she will refer me to my Oncologist that is 3 hours away.  (which by the way I just looked up the definition and here it is...)
Oncology: the branch of medical science dealing with tumors, including the origin, development, diagnosis, and treatment of malignant neoplasms.
So that makes sense.   But, I am hoping that the extreme amount of blood flow I had was a boost to get out the rest of the tumor.  I am tired of having pregnant hormones without being pregnant! Thanks again for all the concern and prayers that have been sent this way, I have felt strength from that source.

Not quite out of the woods.

On Saturday evening around 5:00 pm, we all got back from a friends house and I started bleeding very badly.  I was passing clots and going through about 6 pads per hour. (actually, maybe this is TMI, but I ran out of pads and so I used Maiya's diapers... lol)  After my surgery my doctor had told me to call if I had any bleeding heavier than a heavy period.  I waited a couple hours, but it kept getting worse.  So after making a call to the Dr. we decided to go into the ER.  They checked my blood and found that my levels (which were at 2200 on Tuesday) had risen to 2400. Definitely not a good sign.

They also gave me an ultrasound to see if they could see that anything had grown back, but they couldn't see anything abnormal.   But, my bleeding had stopped, and my vitals were good, so they sent me home and told me to follow up with my Dr. on Monday.  Well, my Dr. isn't in today (or tomorrow) so I get to wait until Wednesday.  But I got my blood tested today, so they will be able to make sure that it is still up.

So anyways! Physically I really am feeling perfectly normal. Haven't had any bleeding since.  I am fully expecting to have to get a shot of chemo, I really would be surprised if I don't have to.  But I've known it was a possibility this whole time, so that doesn't actually scare me that much.  It's the bleeding that scares me, and that is gone for now.  (It does bother me that no one seems to have an explanation of why I bled so much... it could have been a clot that I was holding onto, but no one knows for sure.)  But mostly it's all just annoying... the waiting for answers, the poking and blood drawing, all of the Dr visits and lab visits.... it will be nice to maybe someday get some normalcy back in my life :)

I definitely need a vacation, but I have to wait for the answers before I can plan anything! But, as always I know the Lord is mindful of me and my family and will never cease to be amazed at all of the people who hold interest in our well-being.  I think people worry that I am hiding my true feelings or something, and yes, it hasn't exactly been  my first choice of how I would want to spend my time, but I have been promised through the Priesthood that I would feel peace throughout this entire process and I have felt nothing less.

Things that make me smile....

Taking the last clean spoon this morning and, because we are both too lazy to wash one, watching G eat his cereal with a giant serving spoon. 

My sons new obsession with Little Mermaid.  It is quite the pleasant switch from Spider-man and Transformers. 

My daughter's growing vocabulary and how she nods 'yes' with her whole body.

Our beautiful new home ( I know I haven't posted pictures yet, I seem to only remember when it is a mess, and I don't feel like cleaning it.) ....( and I can't figure out how to blot out the house number yet.)  But, we feel so blessed to have such a well taken care of home.

Seeing Jermaine Sellers from American Idol  "Rocks his Onesie."

The nice, sunny weather we've been having.

On a lighter note!

Thanks for all of my wonderful friends and followers.  It was nice to read all of your well wishes and comments on my last post.  I had 34 people who love me on that last post!  So nice :)

I am doing good.  My headaches have gotten better and I feel pretty close to normal.  I have been so spoiled with all of the meals that people have made for us.  I am actually going to have to make dinner all by myself tonight!  I wonder how much it costs for a personal chef.  Speaking of food, it is so nice to be able to eat a meal and not have to worry about it coming back up. I still feel a little nauseous every once in a while, but nothing like it was before... and I have medicine to help with that.

Last week the kids went over to a friends house while I was recovering, and they have a pet hamster.  Quincey calls him, "squirrel".  So here are some cute pics of my sweet kiddos.  I sure love them.